As a whole, the people of Japan have a reputation for being amazingly poor English speakers for the amount of time and money they invest in the process.  The reputation is well deserved (when you take into account that it is a mandatory school subject) but, in truth, I don’t have a problem with the country’s lack of English ability.  It helps me pay the bills for sure.  And,to their credit, most Japanese people are really good at Japanese and it is probably a much more difficult language, especially the writing part.  What I do have a problem with their seeming refusal to proofread the things that they write in English before they print them on signs or t-shirts.  But, the lack of checking has it’s benefits too.  I get to chuckle on a regular basis at things most people here will never fully appreciate.  I often return the gift of laughter when I dispense my wacky Japanese onto the unsuspecting folks in the land of the rising sun.  For now, let’s forget about my Japanese inability and have a chuckle at other people’s expense.  These aren’t laugh out loud funny but they brighten my day. I hope they brighten yours as well.

Near my house “TAX” is not just a thing you pay too much of it is also a place to buy used cars.  I’m not sure if you have to pay extra tax if buy a car there but judging from the name, I don’t have confidence that their prices are the lowest around.  I first noticed “TAX” more than ten years ago and thought that the owner might just have a sense of humor.  He might, but he may also just be to clever for his own good (and bad at fact checking). Recently, I learned that “TAX” is an (near)acronym for “Total Auto Excellence”. They should have stayed with the long version if they want to sell cars to native English speakers.

My current favorite sign is a bit more cerebral.  It is for a pachinko and slot machine parlor.  I don’t think casino is quite the right word but I guess it could fit since you can lose your money their pretty quickly, or so I’m told.  I’ve never actually been in one.  I tried pachinko in an arcade and it was mildly entertaining for a few minutes but quickly became mind numbingly boring.  I must not have done something right because pachinko is crazily popular here but I don’t know if the Wonderland Pachinko and slot Parlor is the place to be hanging out.  It may a haven for dangerous criminals.  The slogan for is “Here is Perfect Sanctuary”.  It’s a nice slogan, right.  The humor comes when they start flashing pictures of fugitives who are at large.  Right now, they are showing the pictures of some people who are still on the lamb after the Tokyo sarin gas attacks in 1995.  Kind of like “TAX” it is a nice idea that just doesn’t quite work.

-The Green Tea Dreamer